Showing posts with label stalking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stalking. Show all posts

Monday, June 6, 2011

The Relationship Formula

A few years ago, I discovered the formula for determining the value of any given romantic relationship.




Number of times you contact him/her in a given week

divided by

Number of times s/he contacts you in a given week
 


Solve for x.

The closer x is to 1, the more solid is your "thing."

Any value between 0.25 and 0.5 or between 1.5 and 2 means one of y'all has got some work to do. Someone is slippin.
Any value above 3 means s/he's only using you for sex/attention/money/whatnots.
Any value below 0.2 makes him/her a stalker.

NOTES ON THE METHODOLOGY:
  • Contacts means all total phone calls, voicemail messages, texts, IMs, emails, and unannounced visits to your home/work. (The addition of gifts, food, and/or sex to the unannounced visit makes it count as two.)
  • You can also try a month or a day as the stat pool, but a week seems to work best. 
  • For couples already living together with or without the benefit of clergy, replace contacts with times you/she/he/it/they initiates sex/snuggles.
  • Don't be hatin.