Monday, June 6, 2011

The Relationship Formula

A few years ago, I discovered the formula for determining the value of any given romantic relationship.




Number of times you contact him/her in a given week

divided by

Number of times s/he contacts you in a given week
 


Solve for x.

The closer x is to 1, the more solid is your "thing."

Any value between 0.25 and 0.5 or between 1.5 and 2 means one of y'all has got some work to do. Someone is slippin.
Any value above 3 means s/he's only using you for sex/attention/money/whatnots.
Any value below 0.2 makes him/her a stalker.

NOTES ON THE METHODOLOGY:
  • Contacts means all total phone calls, voicemail messages, texts, IMs, emails, and unannounced visits to your home/work. (The addition of gifts, food, and/or sex to the unannounced visit makes it count as two.)
  • You can also try a month or a day as the stat pool, but a week seems to work best. 
  • For couples already living together with or without the benefit of clergy, replace contacts with times you/she/he/it/they initiates sex/snuggles.
  • Don't be hatin.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I still think this is the best thing ever. It so totally works. ♥

Anonymous said...

Oh, but there are SO many more variables to this equation. For the most part, women are more communicative than men are and we do things like call and text more often. And, again, not wanting to rely on stereotypes, but for the purposes of discussion, men tend to initiate sex more often. So even if they are getting two points for every time they bring on th' sex, it doesn't necessarily equate if they aren't also one of the ones doing the "Hi hun, how is your day going?" texting. And 2am booty call texting while drunk should probably knock points off! LOL!

Jeanetta Adkins said...

But...but.. math is hard! ;)

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