A public service announcement

THINGS THAT HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF HAPPENING
TO YOU THAN WINNING THE POWERBALL LOTTERY

• Dying from a fireworks explosion (57,588,244:1)
• Contracting AIDS from heterosexual, protected sex with someone who isn't a member of a "high-risk" group (50,000,000:1)
• Contracting mad cow disease (40,000,000:1)
• Winning the jackpot on the world's tightest slot machine (33,554,000:1)
• Becoming a saint (20,000,000:1)
• Being attacked by a shark (10,000,000:1)
• Spotting a UFO (3,000,000:1)
• Being dealt five aces (2,869,684:1)
• Earth hit by an asteroid (909,000:1)
• Giving birth naturally to quintuplets (729,000:1, assuming you're a pregnant woman)
• Drowning in the bathtub (685,000:1)
• Being struck by lightning (600,000:1)
• Having your house bombed (290,000:1)
• Dating a supermodel (88,000:1)
• Striking it rich on Antiques Roadshow (60,000:1)
• Getting a hole-in-one (42,952:1)
• Being murdered (this year) (20,000:1)
• Winning an Academy Award (lifetime) (11,500:1)
• Finding a four-leaf clover on the first try (10,000:1)
• Being possessed by Satan (7,000:1)
• Carolina Panthers win the Super Bowl (200:1)
• Getting on a plane with a drunk pilot (117:1)

Winning the Powerball lottery (195,249,054:1)