the babes of MST3K
Having both an unhealthy obsession with classic pin-up style, which is coming back, and Mystery Science Theater 3000, which lives on forever, I've decided to combine my two lusts and create yet another series, this one based around pin-ups of the lovely ladies that starred in the b-movies MST3K skewered so hilariously. I will be taking on every single one of the relevant episodes, in order, because I have problems. Enjoy!
The series begins here.
The series begins here.
One of the worst "rock and roll" films in a decade utterly littered with them, Untamed Youth is notable for two things: a rare on-screen appearance by doomed rockabilly legend Eddie Cochran (not at his best) and a bevy of three, count 'em, three, b-movie cheesecake legends -- all of whom were brunette beauty pageant contestants who wound up running from monsters on screen and off. This being a rock, not horror, movie, it existed mainly to let "real" Americans leer at the sweaty, steamy, writhing primal urges of today's troubled teens before assuring us that our youth, at heart, are really okay. Five, count 'em, five bad musical numbers, one catfight, a beatnik cook for comic relief. Unfairly trapped picking cotton for a rancher who is fed teen labor by a corrupt judge, the kids toil and fight and rock and shimmy until they get a little solidarity and rise up against the zzzzzzzzz. It doesn't matter, because such a thing would never happen today. And now, the babes.
Lori Nelson"We were so hot, and we walked for miles!"
"She's still hot."
Santa Fe's Dixie Kay Nelson was a pageant baby and failed child star who found b-movie success after Universal worked her into the studio system at age 17. She palled around with Debbie Reynolds, dated tab Hunter, Dean Martin, Burt Reynolds, and James Dean, before finally settling down with songwriter Johnny Mann, effectively ending her movie and TV career. She's also seen in MST3K episode 801, Revenge of the Creature.
Jeanne Carmen"Am I the sultriest person you've ever seen in your whole entire life?"
Arkansas native (and trick-shot golfer!) Carmen was a teen runaway who made it to New York to find fame and fortune any way she could. Dancing on Broadway led to her B-movie career, where the brunette was at first shoehorned into vampy Mexican roles. Tired of trying to pull off a Latina accent, she went blonde and never looked back. Her role in Untamed Youth led to co-star Eddie Cochran penning the rockabilly classic "Jeannie, Jeannie, Jeannie" in her honor; though they never dated, Carmen wound up going around with most of Hollywood's leading men, including Frank Sinatrra. It was this liason which led Jeanne to a close friendship with Marilyn Monroe; after Marilyn's suspicious death, she was reportedly told to leave town by mob boss Sam Giancana, and she became a housewife in Scottsdale, AZ. She re-emerged in the past few years to work the convention circuit, and passed away from cancer in 2007.
"You have more than a modicum of talent, my dear."
"Oh, you mean these?"
Born Joan Lucille Olander, Mamie Van Doren escaped South Dakota with her family to find work in Los Angeles, and by 15, she was an usher at Hollywood's famed Pantages Theatre. With those looks, it didn't take long to get noticed; by 17, she was singing in a big band, embroiled in a tumultuous and abusive marriage, and a fixture on the beauty pageant circuit. By 18, she was out of the marriage and possibly dating Howard Hughes, who placed her in several of his films at RKO. By 20, she was a Vargas girl and Esquire cover model, and by 22 Universal had snapped her up as their answer to Marilyn Monroe. Unfortunately, even though she was a better singer than Monroe and a comparable actress, she never made the A-list, and when Universal dumped her at the end of the '50s, she made the usual sexpot circuit -- men's magazines, Vegas, the USO, and a series of steamy romances with seemingly everyone in the business, from George Hamilton to Steve McQueen to Joe Namath. By the '80s, she'd begun to find a new career as a retro icon, one which she proudly works even today. A true Hollywood survivor.
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